In Which I am An Independent Woman

I am now an independent woman. I learned how to change the taillights in my car. Ok, I did get a little help. My truck-driver neighbor noticed that my taillight was out this afternoon, and he offered to help me change it. It turns out to be very simple. There's a little screw that comes off in the trunk, and then the light bulbs pull out the back.

I even went to the auto parts store to buy new bulbs, all by myself (once my neighbor told me where the store is). I stood around the lights aisle looking all blond and pathetic, and about 3 seconds later, a really good-looking Latino guy helped me find the lights I needed. (Aside: going blond with the hair color has been worth every penny, even though I could fly to NYC and back for what it cost.)

I successfully changed the light bulb in the parking lot of the store. I am so impressed with my mechanical skills! Next thing you know, I'll be changing my own tires too, and telling the mechanic that the clunking sound in my engine is from the serpentine belt coming loose. Um, well, truthfully, I will be checking first with my neighbor, so he can tell me what is wrong with my car, so I can impress the mechanic with my smart-blonde automotive skills, so I won't get ripped off.

In Which Elvis is Sighted

I went to the National Portrait Gallery this weekend. I needed to get some culture into me, after being snowed in for days on end. It is kind of fun to walk around and see portraits and busts of famous people, like Louisa May Alcott, Edgar Allen Poe, President Lincoln, John Brown, Enrico Caruso, the Marquis de Lafayette, and Queen Elizabeth. There was a portrait of Yo-Yo Ma, too, who my mother once saw in the basement diner at Eastman School of Music, eating an ice-cream. He laughed when he saw her burdened down with children, music, a violin, a cello, and a small "cello chair" so my little brother's feet could touch the floor when he played.

To return to topic, the highlight of the museum, for me, was the exhibit of Elvises (say that five times fast in a whispery voice, and it's like being transformed into Gollum from The Lord of the Rings : "Elvises, my precioussss, there is nasty Elvises.") There were portraits of Elvis painted after he died. There was a Where's Elvis book, along the lines of Where's Waldo. The most memorable item was beyond doubt the 3-foot bust of Elvis as Julius Caesar. Painted gold. Wearing a laurel crown. With guitars on his faux-Roman armor. Can you picture Elvis standing on the steps of the Forum, orating, "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears"? It's a farce waiting to happen. Now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure I've seen that on The Muppet Show.

In Which I Have a Snow Day. Again.

Northern Virginia is still shut down. No school, for the 12th straight day. Ridiculous. And why is there no school? Because the bus stops still have too much snow and drivers can't see the children. In New York, drivers know enough to slow down at corners and not run over small moving things wearing colorful coats and backpacks. Apparently Virginia drivers can't be trusted to use such common sense. Not surprising, really, judging by their driving skills when it is not snowy. I have worked a grand total of 3 days in February. It felt a little odd to be getting a paycheck on the 15th of this month when I hadn't done anything to earn it. Not that I'm complaining about a little vacation time, but this really is becoming a joke.

In Which I Dig Out My Car

Three neighbors and I spent 3 hours digging out two cars. By the end, there were 5 neighbors shoveling, one with a broken arm helping brush off snow, and an elderly woman offering hot chocolate every 10 minutes. It was like a party. Fortunately, today is sunny, so once we got the cars dug out, the sun melted a lot of the remaining icy bits. Here are some pictures of my car. The piles of snow around my car are NOT from the snow plows, believe it or not. It's the snow that landed between cars during the storm, or blew up against it from the wind. There are a couple man-made mountains in the background, because we did have to put the snow somewhere, after all.

It Does, Indeed, Blizzard

There is a lot of snow today. And it is still snowing. There is around 16 inches outside my door, and we're expecting anywhere from 5-9 more. That's a lot of snow. The first step on the stairway was buried. So, I am holing up in my apartment for the rest of the day, drinking tea, and eating snow cream. Here is the recipe:

1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup sugar

dash vanilla

1-2 cups fresh clean snow (I got mine from the top layer on the porch)

Mix milk, sugar, vanilla. Add snow to desired consistency. Eat.

In Which There is a Blizzard

It is currently snowing in Northern Virginia. There is supposed to be a lot of snow. This is how I know:

1: I looked out my window, saw the gray skies and large amounts of white flaky wet things started falling from the sky. I concluded we are getting a storm.

2: The news has been tracking "Major Winter Weather" for the past three days. This could mean anything from 1-100 inches of snow, or ice, or rain. The news also started at 4:30 am instead of 5:00, and the newspaper has had storm warning news on the front page for three days.

3. Schools closed for today by 6 pm yesterday. Granted, this only means there is a threat of snow, not the real thing.

4: Every hardware store in Virginia and DC is sold out of shovels and rock salt this morning. We are supposed to get over 2 feet of snow. Can someone explain to me how 50 pounds of rock salt is going to help apartment-dwellers when there is over 2 feet of snow? I really want an explanation.

5: Every single man, woman, and child in Virginia has spent the last two days going to the grocery store buying 1% milk, bacon, and frozen pizza. Every store was out of skim and 1% milk, and I bought the last package of bacon. Do not plan on getting breakfast in Northern Virginia for at least a week. The bacon is SOLD OUT.

6. The federal government took a snow day this afternoon. Did you know they can do that? Congress can declare a snow day for itself. If teachers could do that, we would only go to school from September-December, then return again from April-June.

We are indeed expecting a major storm. It is supposed to snow for over 36 hours. We are supposed to get anywhere from 16-30 inches, depending on where one lives. My area is looking at 24-30. That's a lot of snow. I am prepared! I have nachos for the Superbowl on Sunday, brownie fixin's, milk, and bacon. Had I thought about it, I might have bought a bottle of bourbon to make it through the 24-hour news coverage of the storm that will be inevitable tomorrow. Maybe I can ferment the bacon grease.... eww. On second thought, maybe not.

In Which I Make a Friend

So, it's snowing here in Virginia, which means the world is coming to an end. School will probably be cancelled tomorrow. There's another storm on Friday night, which means there will be big debates on if school will be open Monday. Now, the total amount of snow expected for tomorrow is THREE INCHES. Only in the south would school be closed for THREE INCHES of snow. Wussies.

I made a new friend tonight. There is a rabbit which lives in my back yard. It sits about 40 feet from my door, on the lawn, after dusk almost every night. I was standing on the front porch watching the snow fall, when I decided to make friends with it. I left it some of Wegman's finest lettuce, and watched from my porch to see if it would eat it. After about 30 minutes, it ventured over to the little pile, and ate some! Then it sat down in one of my boot prints to survey the land. It generally does just sit there, sometimes for hours, watching the neighbors come and go. As long as none of us walk on the grass, it will just sit there and watch. Maybe my apartment complex is the equivalent of a soap opera for the local rabbit populace. There is a huge opossum that lives back there too, but I think it mostly hangs out on the wrong side of the fence. Opossums are not known for their refinement, after all.