In Which There is a Blizzard

It is currently snowing in Northern Virginia. There is supposed to be a lot of snow. This is how I know:

1: I looked out my window, saw the gray skies and large amounts of white flaky wet things started falling from the sky. I concluded we are getting a storm.

2: The news has been tracking "Major Winter Weather" for the past three days. This could mean anything from 1-100 inches of snow, or ice, or rain. The news also started at 4:30 am instead of 5:00, and the newspaper has had storm warning news on the front page for three days.

3. Schools closed for today by 6 pm yesterday. Granted, this only means there is a threat of snow, not the real thing.

4: Every hardware store in Virginia and DC is sold out of shovels and rock salt this morning. We are supposed to get over 2 feet of snow. Can someone explain to me how 50 pounds of rock salt is going to help apartment-dwellers when there is over 2 feet of snow? I really want an explanation.

5: Every single man, woman, and child in Virginia has spent the last two days going to the grocery store buying 1% milk, bacon, and frozen pizza. Every store was out of skim and 1% milk, and I bought the last package of bacon. Do not plan on getting breakfast in Northern Virginia for at least a week. The bacon is SOLD OUT.

6. The federal government took a snow day this afternoon. Did you know they can do that? Congress can declare a snow day for itself. If teachers could do that, we would only go to school from September-December, then return again from April-June.

We are indeed expecting a major storm. It is supposed to snow for over 36 hours. We are supposed to get anywhere from 16-30 inches, depending on where one lives. My area is looking at 24-30. That's a lot of snow. I am prepared! I have nachos for the Superbowl on Sunday, brownie fixin's, milk, and bacon. Had I thought about it, I might have bought a bottle of bourbon to make it through the 24-hour news coverage of the storm that will be inevitable tomorrow. Maybe I can ferment the bacon grease.... eww. On second thought, maybe not.